So I have been holding it together really well so far
(up until about 3 hours ago).
I am now officially terrified.
My stomach is churning.
I can’t sleep.
I can’t stop thinking about the what ifs.
What if this is the last night that we will ever all be together at home.
I am just not ready to start down this path just yet.
I feel like I need a couple more weeks,
but I know in my heart that I would feel this same way, even then.
I know that he is uncomfortable, I know he needs to get fixed.
I know how lucky we are to live in a time and place where all of these options are even available…
There just is something so definite about leaving for Boston tomorrow morning and I am utterly terrified.